Cleanse The Crap

Why do we cling to our phones, mindlessly scrolling through pictures but not really paying attention? It’s because we can’t stand to be silent, to reminisce on all of our failures, our could have beens, the I wish I would have saids. If we bottle it all up and ignore it, maybe it will all go away… or maybe it will just sneak attack you in the shower, the one place you obviously can’t have your phone. That’s what happened to me today, just minding my own business trying to relax when a memory from 8 years ago popped into my head. And I started to do what I normally do, I start getting angry and arguing in my head wishing I would have said this or that and then falling into the slippery slope of a pity party. Don’t lie, you’ve probably experience it. But unlike most days I started thinking “girl, you have got to let this go.” And then I thought, well I am on a cleanse…

For those of you that haven’t been following my story, I recently started the Arbonne 30 days to healthy living program. The program helps me cleanse bad foods and eating habits and helps me to create a better habit to live by after my 30 days. When we think ‘healthy,’ we think about exercise and clean eating, but what about a healthy state of mind? We need a cleanse for the mind! Every day just having quiet time, let the thoughts bubble up and work them out. Use forgiveness and let it go. Yeah, I know it sounds easy, but I know it will be tough. I’m Irish, we bottle everything up until one day… we die, and I’m pretty good at it. But, every once in awhile things bubble to the surface and its hard to shove them back down (obviously since I was thinking about a memory that happened 8 freaking years ago!!). So don’t think that I am looking down saying I’m perfect and I have forgiven and let go of everything I should. I am a sinner, I am a work in progress.

So what was this memory that has me arguing with myself and raising my cortisol levels? I know you are going to hate this answer, but it’s “who cares!” Yeah, the first time I wrote this post I added in the stupid story that got me all wound up to begin with. Then I came back and did an edit and I let it go. I realized that as I was writing about what happened I was letting it go, and when I came back to it I found myself saying, “wow are you sharing this for attention?” So I deleted it. The truth is, there are many memories that affect me every day and some days are harder than others. I struggle every day with my past. But I’m on a cleanse! I’m letting go of all that gunk that has me feeling down. I can not control the past, it’s too late. And if I am stuck in the past, I’ll never get to that bright future I want so badly. So, maybe this post is just helping me cleanse a little, but I hope it’s more than that. I hope it can help one of you cleanse the past too! Journal it, talk with a friend or therapist, get it out and then say goodbye! Here’s to cleansing the past and LIVING in the future, Cheers!

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